justgivemefive

TOP FIVE MOST ANNOYING PEOPLE IN THE LIBRARY

Posted on March 7, 2016 by justgivemefive

You go to the library because you thought you would enjoy tranquility and peacefulness then you can set down with your study and finish it today. But no, people won’t give you a break in the library. Prepare a gun so you can start shooting the following people in the head.

1. People who do too much PDA

kay girl, lets finish this damn Assignment, I’ve been here for what, like2 hours!!! Gotta finish this thing…lets look around to freshen up…whoa!! Are they kissing!! Whoooaa..thats getting intense..okk..i should not look…gosh! Im unable to concentrate now! Get a room, bitch!

2. People who listen to music like..REALLY LOUD

I think some people take Rihanna a bit too seriously and they REALLY DON’T STOP THE MUSIC! I mean guyss…it a freaking library for God’s sake! Keep it down… Grrrrrrrr

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3. People who eat strong smell food

Food smells can be so irritating, especially when people start eating food next to you (although I personally enjoy cheese and onion, but only in the privacy of my own home!). How could I concentrate when I smell something nice and now I just want to pack my bag and go eating! Gosh people just don’t want me to study!

Image Source: https://goo.gl/3aLFJv

4. People who snore

It is annoying enough if people talk or make noise in library. Just when you think it can’t get worse, there’s a guy who actually take library as home, fell asleep, and then started snoring. SKNX-X-X-X SKNX-X-X-X SKNX-X-X-X SKNX-X-X-X REALLY?!

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5. People who are professional typers

You are trying really hard to concentrate in the library but right next to you is Mavis Beacon herself! With 2 inch acrylic nails! Typing away non stop like her life depends on it…all you hear is TATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATTATTATATTATATATATATTATAATTATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATAAATATATATTATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATAT!!!! Gosh i want gouge my eyes out and use them as ear muffs!!!

TOP FIVE WAYS TO REJECT A PUBLIC PROPOSAL

Posted on March 5, 2016 by justgivemefive

What’s more romantic than marrying the true love of your life?

Unless you aren’t really sure about tying the knot with this guy who on his knees now just made a proposal to you…and worse…he’s making it in public.

The following situations and tips might come in handy to you.

Getting proposed to in a mall? Well, hit him with whatever you have at hand! Yeah I know, this might be a little be too dramatic, but the lady in this video did JUST THAT. AWKWARRRRRRRRRRD.

2. “I thought we were friends with benefits?”

I thought we were clear about this… You were counting down for Friday to spend the night with your best guy partying because he has been a great work out partner. But then… he started to make things complicated by getting down on one knee with a ring and I was like… I thought we are friends with benefits?!?!?!

3. “Sorry…it’s not you…it’s my mom! “

Well, you understand the situation when you show courtesy to a guy by coming with him to coffee or helping him out with the course work, in spite of your mom telling you over and over that he is quite…well…weirdo! then he makes things even more awkward by proposing to you !!! aaahhhhhh SO…now what to say…ok…time to be honest…phew! come on girl you gotta do it.. here it goes… My mom does’t like you !!!

4. Nature’s call

You are in the middle of a meal with your “guy-friend”, when suddenly he goes on one knee and pops out a ring! He is jabbing something good about you…buy you cannot FOCUS AT ALL!!how should you run from this situation without being rude..ummm…ummmm… I gotta pee !! WHAAAAAT ! what did i just say !!! well..whatever I’m outta this !!! SAAVEEEE MEEE !!!

5. Pretend you have a seizure

Okay, now a restaurant again. This time there’s a small band coming to your table and they are playing classical music, complete with the violins and trombone etc. All eyes in the restaurant are on you now. He’s down on one knee, with one arm behind him. As soon as the band stops he’s going to utter those words that you don’t want to hear from him (tonight was the night you actually planned on ending the relationship). You are completely petrified! You are at wits end, you wish you could just disappear! That’s when a brilliant idea comes to mind….

You fake a seizure. Complete with the vibrations and eyes rolling into the sockets and all. An Oscar-worthy performance. Hopefully he’s not a brainless zit and so he won’t assume your seizure means yes. Hopefully.

FIVE MASTERS DEGREE REALITIES

Posted on February 29, 2016 by justgivemefive

If you have read ‘About Us’ on our homepage (which you obviously haven’t), you would know we are a group of masters student in the UK. Now, not to discourage you or destroy your aspirations for pursing master degree overseas (umm…maybe we are), we list out the reasons why you should probably think twice before applying for masters in the UK.

1.YOU ACTUALLY SPEND MORE TIME COOKING

Once you decide that you are going to study abroad, you would probably imagine yourself spending most of your time studying. Yes, of course because you are a FULL-TIME student! But you completely forget that this is a moment without your mom cooking! You have to spend hours to cook for just a meal. Instead of just reading textbooks, now you have become a COOKING MAMA! So what should I cook today… Oh gosh! I miss my mom!

Image source: https://goo.gl/LdpLSt http://goo.gl/7xaRHw

2. YOUR TEACHERS MIGHT NOT BE NATIVE AT ALL!

In some universities you will get majority of lecturers being natives of that country but some schools are so cosmopolitan that there happen to be more foreign teachers with difficult accents to understand and even more difficult names(eg.Prof. Jkcbdgetsrymfyfh)to pronounce

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3. YOUR CLASSMATES MIGHT NOT BE NATIVE AT ALL

(Refer to above post and replace the words ‘teachers’ and ‘lecturers’ with ‘students’). Sorry, havent had any coffee yet.😐

(That’s Christopher Columbus you in case you didn’t recognize him)

4. YOU DON’T ACTUALLY HAVE THAT MANY CLASSES

When I thought of doing Masters at this university, I was sh*t scared..thinking I wont have time for anything else, even my favorite basket ball. “You will be dug beneath the amount of course work, you wont even have time to breathe” This was the most soothing comment I got *hint of sarcasm* :O

But it was such a difference when my course Design Management had less of boring typical lectures and more of own thinking space! Most of my time was spent chilling with my all time Butter beer and racing my mind on my next design project! 未命名1.png

Image Source: https://goo.gl/VRY6JM https://goo.gl/rcMF3C

5. A MASTERS DEGREE IS QUITE UNDERRATED IN SOME PLACES

And you think your resume will be gilded with ‘Masters degree from XX university”?

Nah, kid, the job market is too complex for a naive master students like you who sit for hours in the library writing your 6000 word paper while daydreaming about your bright future with thousands of job offers waiting.

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Check the following links to face the reality:

When A Graduate Degree Just Isn’t Worth It

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2015-02-20/when-a-graduate-degree-just-isn-t-worth-it

Worst Masters Degree for Jobs

http://www.forbes.com/pictures/fjle45gfkg/no-1-worst-masters-degree-for-jobs-right-now-journalism/

FIVE WAYS TO STOP TRUMP

Posted on February 28, 2016 by justgivemefive

I believe we don’t need an introduction paragraph for this one. Google the title and I am sure you will find thousands of similar articles. I mean can a man be even more notorious than this guy?

1. Curse Spell on Him

Whip out wands and cast a harry potter spell that causes insanity (I’m not nerdy enough to remember which one) on him.O wait, that might not even work, because how do you make someone who’s already mental, mental? sigh

2. Prank Him Every Day

Donald likes to joke about people? Fine, let’s play jokes on him every day as well (hell yeah). We hire all the famous pranksters on YouTube, including all your favorites RomanAdWood and Jesse& Jeana. They would come up with all the creative and mind-torturing ideas to prank Donald. Every day we scare him during his sleep, make his toilet seat collapse to the ground, fill his house with plastic balls until he gets the message-stop running for presidency!

3. Put Him in Hunger Games

Image how much Trump want to control the whole nation!! Instead of United States of America, shall we put Donald Trump and all the candidates in the Hunger Games?!?! We are sure that they want to volunteer themselves to be the representative of each district. Wonder how the game would end… Would Obama ask the survivors to eat grapes at the end or Obama would eat those grapes instead. But just remember…there will be only ONE WINNER and maybe it is a chance to stop TRUMP!

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4.Make Steve Harvey Announce the Winner

Even if Donald Trump actually wins the presidential election (I mean IF), we still have our own way to handle him. We will have the result secretly written on a slip of paper, which was handed to Steve Harvey and Steve Harvey ONLY. All spotlights on him, people around the nation sit uneasily before TV, trying to read his lips. On the paper reads ‘MISTER PRESIDENT 2016 – Donald Trump ’ boldly in the middle and ‘1st Runner up – Hilary Clinton’ in the corner. But somehow dyslexia got the better of Steve AGAIN so he announced “And the next president of United States is…Hillary Clinton!” This time, it’s not just some annual beauty pageant but the freaking important presidential election. So we can bet that Steve won’t be bold enough to sneak back on to the stage and correct his mistake unless he wants to be thrown out of the country.

5. Last Resort….JUST DON’T VOTE FOR HIM!

FIVE WTF MOMENTS IN CLUB

Posted on February 22, 2016 by justgivemefive

Having a night out at the club on Friday night can mean a lot of things. Fun, Craziness, Losing-it-all. But one thing for sure is that you won’t want any of the following to happen…

1. Hot guy turns out to be dancing in..What?!

Say you are in club, with drinks in hand, and then all of a sudden this smoking hot guy approaches you. After a ‘hi, whats your name’ (he had you at ‘hi’)you started dancing together, everything’s perfect, you started feeling positive about where the night would lead you to… then suddenly he accidentally steps on your foot and it feels like the pain you would feel from the heel of a high heel shoe…..

BECAUSE IT IS A HIGH HEEL SHOE.

GIF source: http://goo.gl/9Lt9bp

2. Hello~ Bartender~ I am HEREEEEEEE

The closest I’ve ever been to Harry Potter world is wearing his invisible cloak when ordering from the bartender. I mean, really, I can’t remember how many times I was about to shout out “Carlsberg” but only managed to utter ‘Ca’ before shutting up again because the bartender simply ignored me but took everyone else’s order.

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3. Even when you don’t think of the devil…..it appears. BAAAAM!

So after lying to your girl that you wont be able to go over to her place because of some reason or the other(coursework/ visiting your parents/whatever came into your mind at that moment) you head to the club with your buddies. The music is good, you’ve a had a few drinks and are in a good mood , and you see this girl alone at the bar but from behind. You approach her, you straighten your hair, check your breath, pop your collar –its game time. You drop your best line–“The word of the day is legs. Let’s go to your house and spread the word.” She turns around with a disgusted look and you realize its your girlfriend. Yikes.

4. Guy dancing as if he’s in dancing competition

There’s this crazy guy on the dance floor moving like a windmill with some very awkward dance moves and taking up a whole lot of space. Whether he’s trying to catch attention from some girl standing over there or he’s simply a retard who assumes the DJ would announce ‘And here’s our dancer of the night!’, you only want to yell ‘Chill, man!’

Image Source: http://goo.gl/K7Xuuo

5. Did I just fall on..EWWWW!

You and your friends FINALLY get into the club after waiting in line for a whole hour. The good side of that is the club is now packed! You start feeding off the energy. You are making your way to go get drinks when suddenly your favorite song comes on (calvin harris-how deep is your love). Its on now! You forget about the drinks and start heading to the dance floor, already doing a little two step, singing along as you go- HOW DEEP IS YOUR LO——

You are on the floor. You feel something sticky and moist on your back. There’s a pain in your ankle and your elbow hurts as well. Your friends are helping you off the ground. Apparently you slipped on and fell in someones very recent puke. The person probably had pasta for dinner from the look of things. Time to go back home and sob. O yea and your song is still playing by the way.

FIVE WORST VALENTINE’S DAY EXPERIENCES

Posted on February 17, 2016 by justgivemefive

Last weekend the whole world celebrated the Valentine’s day. While we believe most couples must have spent the most romantic day together, some of you guts out there probably went through the worst night ever in life. Check out the following and see if you resonate to any of them.

1) Go to a restaurant and find your ex there with a much more beautiful girl

What’s worse than seeing your ex?

Well….seeing him with another girl that’s more attractive than you!

What do you do now?

Fire on and flirt with your Valentine even harder or flee?

Either way, no doubt you are going to spend the rest of the day wondering what is it about the girl that attracts him. Is it because she got better curves than you? Or is it because she laughs out loud to that same old joke he always made…..

2) Got the worst Valentine’s day gift EVERRRRR

So you are super excited because you are expecting the most fabulous valentines day gift ever. You get the “im at the door” text! You buzz him in and he comes up…….

Hug, lingering kiss, a wrapped box in his hand. You unwrap it and tadaaa!!!!

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yes. You are seeing right. Edible underwear. EDIBLE. UNDERWEAR. *Im going to puke now*.

Image source: https://goo.gl/BWlc41

3) Got the wrong condom size

yes there are condom sizes. What could be worse than your girlfriend going through all the trouble to find the perfect type for your first ever ummm, yea you know. she gets the colour(yes there are different colours), flavor(don’t ask), ribbed etc etc. BUT, she gets one thing wrong. Size. Not that its too small(that would be a compliment), but its too big. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwkwaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrd.

4) When your surprise surprises you back…

Who doesn’t like surprises?

They can add spice to your Valentine’s Day and make your love more fiery.

But sometimes they can be too spicy. Consider the following case: Imagine yourself sneaking into your boyfriend’s house with a gift in hand and romantic rose petals to decorate the house, started the work and suddenly hear noises coming from the room, you walked towards the door, opened it and only to find your boy in bed with….another…..

Two pair of hairy legs at the wrong time….oopsy

Image source: http://goo.gl/hwtVYk

5) “Baby…I think I have a visitor…”

What would you do after Valentine’s dinner?

For most women, Valentine’s day is a big deal and they like to make sure its memorable. But for guys, they probably have prepared for mainly for a special night with a trail of rose petals leading to the comfy bed with candles around it. Today is the one day she won’t say no to corny romance until you find out it’s “THAT TIME OF THE MONTH”

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Image source: http://goo.gl/JjkAxd

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